10 Ways to Draw Me to Your Church
In response to my 10 Ways to Keep Me from Discovering Your Church, Church Redone reader Andy Raffalski sent in a list of 10 ways to draw someone to a church. I’ve included his list below (in bold) along with my comments.
- Pursue me : Being pursued by a church can be either helpful or scary. The helpful form is for a church to be responsive and to make a genuine effort to connect. The scary form of pursuit is when it turns into stalking. Churches will spend thousands of dollars to send a missionary around the world or for a local marketing campaign, but don’t return an email from a seeker or follow-up with an attender who’s absent from activities. If someone shows interest in Christ and the church, go after them. If someone is already part of your church, don’t let them fall to the wayside.
- Take me out to eat : An excellent idea if I ever heard one. Both pastors I met with in the last week offered to buy me lunch. I took one of them up on it. A good conversation over the breaking of bread is a lost art. At minimum in my last church anyone that requested info we’d offer to take out for coffee.
- Ask about my story and show genuine interest : The few pastors I’ve met recently have done a pretty decent job of wanting to know my story, at least as it related to my church background. What was missing was a genuine interest in my whole story, not just the part that applied to their context.
- Find out how I’m really doing and pray for me : “I’m good” is the most frequent lie out of people’s mouths, especially on Sundays. Search your heart; do you really care how someone is doing? Are you prepared if instead of “things are good” someone says “my life is falling apart”? Don’t let me get away with “I’m fine”. If I share a prayer need, pray for me right then and there. Ask me to do the same for you.
- Show interest in my hobbies : Knowing how someone chooses to spend their free time can be immensely useful. Is their hobby something others in the church share that would allow for connections to develop? People tend to exercise skills in hobbies they may not otherwise get to use. Those skills can likely also benefit the church. You don’t know if you don’t ask.
- Help me get involved and see that I do : As someone who started volunteering at age 11, I frequently lament to my friends the difficulty in getting involved. Most churches or non-profits I’ve contacted, who are begging for volunteers, absolutely drop the ball on getting me connected. Having managed volunteers in a couple different organizations, this is indeed a continuing struggle. People do want to make a difference, make it easy for them to do so.
- Seek my input : After I attended church on Sunday the pastor took me out for lunch and asked me to tell him everything I’d change about his church if I had a year to recreate it into an outward-focused church. Now I’m not suggesting you ask that question of all your visitors. It was a bold and humble step for this man who is working hard to revitalize a small waning church. However, you can provide a culture where people in the church are comfortable providing input on how church is “done” and how the city is being reached. If you do so, I assure you that you’ll reap positive results.
- Invite me to hang out with your friends : This suggestion by Andy stood out to me above all others. One of the many buzzwords in the church is “relationship”. One of the most lacking things in churches today is relationship. Life is best lived in community and one cannot be sharpened or sharpen another in isolation. Don’t just send someone off to a connection class, invite them into your life.
- Tell me your story and how God transforms : As much as I love to share my story and testimony, I also want to hear yours. Knowing how God has transformed your life gives me hope about how he can transform mine. It is very easy to insulate oneself in leadership from sharing. But having a two-way dialog is the difference between friendship and counseling.
- When I’m sick, check up on me : Most people I hang out with (guys 20-35) aren’t going to take you up on an offer of assistance if they are sick. Still I call just to make sure they are alive and see if they need anything. Being sick is no fun and it’s even worse when no one seems to care. Just whatever you do, don’t offer assistance that you aren’t sincerely and happily willing to provide.
All of these together boil down to one simple message: Show That You Care.
March 20, 2007 | Filed Under Missiology, Ministry
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4 Responses to “10 Ways to Draw Me to Your Church”
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This is a highly inspiring write-up. It is the truth and nothing but the truth.The best way to pass the message of christ to non-christains is to SHOW THAT YOU CARE in very PRACTICAL ways as clearly enumerated in this article.
I think showing people you care is truly a lost art form that the church really needs to reclaim, without a doubt. Yet, the one thing I noticed most clearly in this list was the words “me” and “my”. Andy, I thought the church was about God and surrender to His will for us … this seems completely lacking in your article. Rick Warren said it best, “It’s not about you.” Peace and community in Christ come from living and knowing that truth in our lives. You will be looking for a church home forever with this ecclesiology. Good luck.
Showing you care… but it must be done within the confines of true biblical love for others. In Jesus’ description of His judgement of the sheep and the goats… neithter knew that they were doing or not doing. The unrigtheous did it out of their lack of love, and the righteous did it out of their love. Both were expressions of themselves, but without their realizing it. Jesus John 13:35) others will know we are His disciples when we express love for one another.
Caring for others should be an expression of who we are, and not an intentional effort for the purpose of bring new people to our church.
God has through the years moved me to several different areas, so I’ve been blessed to have been able to meet a lot of different pastors and missionaries, and the one thing I’ve picked up on, is that they all are so involved in their craving to accomplish, what it is they see God has for them to do for Him, that they are totally obscure to the interest and needs of others. Unless it fits into their present undertaking, you can expect a total lack of interest, and very little, if any of their attention. if you have nothing to offer them, they have no time for you.
This often leaves a lot of doors shut, that could offer much help and many opportunities.