10 Ways to Keep Me from Discovering Your Church
I’m now a few weeks into looking for a new fellowship body and I’ve come up against many barriers that churches have in place to keep me from easily finding or connecting with them. There are a couple local churches that have completely vexed my efforts to learn more about them and after 2 weeks and several hours of effort, I’ve stopped trying to reach them. The reality is most people, myself included, are probably not going to attend your church if they can’t find any information about it beforehand. Other churches I’ve managed to find and attend, only to be thwarted in my efforts to learn more or get connected. This is all part of what I call church discoverability, which includes initially hearing about a church, learning more, first attending and initial connecting.
So if your church’s goal is to make it painfully difficult to be discovered by new people, here are 10 real ways I’ve experienced that churches keep from being discovered:
- Don’t have a website : This is the information age, even 107 year old women have blogs, but not your church. No church website, no blog, no flickr account, and don’t podcast your sermons. Knowledge is power and providing me easy access to information about your church might empower me to learn more or even visit. So even if you must have a website, make sure it is poorly designed, lacking in information, hard to navigate, out of date and doesn’t have an rss feed to make things even remotely easy for me.
- Be completely inactive in the community : If you’re not doing anything in the community then no one will talk about your church. That makes it a lot harder for me to accidentally find out anything useful. So don’t serve the community or partner with other churches or non-profits. In fact it’s really just best if you stay completely inward-focused and don’t do anything missional in your city.
- Don’t answer your phone : Regardless of what time I call (weekday, weekend, morning, afternoon, evening) don’t answer the phone and don’t have an answering machine or voice mail for me to leave a message or prayer request. If you do have voice mail, don’t include your website address, service times or directions to your church on your message, and don’t ever answer the phone on Sunday mornings. That way when I’m lost en route to service, I’ll have no choice but to drive around aimlessly until I give up and go home.
- Allow misinformation : Sometimes you just can’t prevent denominations or directories from listing information about your church. When contact information changes, don’t tell them about the update. You can save time by providing them incorrect information initially and for added confusion make sure each directory lists different information about your church, all of it wrong.
- Lack clear signage : Even if I’m determined to visit your church, you have several on site options to discourage me. The first is to play hide and seek. Is your church in a nondescript building or on a street with several other churches? Have absolutely no signage; none, whatsoever. Except maybe on the mailbox, where you abbreviate things beyond comprehension. If you run a Christian school, put up a 10′ x 14′ sign just for it, so I’ll be led to believe the building is only a school.
- Have insufficient parking/seating : Other discouraging on-site options are lack of adequate parking and seating. Does your church seat 200? Only have 30 parking spaces. Been running at capacity for weeks or months? Don’t start another service, so that there will be standing room only. Have visitors’ parking? Put it in the corner of the lot away from the entrance. Have adequate parking? Don’t stripe the lot or have parking attendants; chaos is best. Have adequate seating? Make it as uncomfortable as possible.
- Ignore Visitors : Despite your best efforts I have found and attended your church. In fact, I even filled out a visitor’s card requesting more information. Don’t acknowledge my visit in any way. Don’t call me, don’t send me a thank you card, don’t answer any of my questions or give me any information about how to become involved or learn more about Jesus. Also don’t have any literature available to provide visitors and don’t train your volunteers to be courteous or helpful in anyway.
- Respond half-heartedly to inquiries : If responding to information requests at all, do so extremely slowly and only partially. Wait 1 week or more to return emails or phone calls and if I ask several questions, don’t answer them all. Instead just tell me I should come to a service to find out more. That saves you a couple minutes of response time and makes you look very busy and important. Whatever you do, do not start a dialogue with me.
- Be evasive about your beliefs : When I ask a direct question about the church’s beliefs, ignore the question or act like you don’t understand and then start telling me about your denomination or church programs. For “What We Believe”, only include the Nicene Creed on your website or literature. If I’m adamant about wanting positional clarity, instead tell me about the love of Jesus and how Christianity isn’t about division. For those times you do answer my questions, act offended that I would even ask, then try and make me feel stupid or sinful for questioning you.
- Lie to me : When all else fails, simply lie to me about your church. You might just get a few weeks of attendance out of me before I learn the truth. Are you denominationally affiliated? Don’t mention it ever and talk about how independent you are when I find out. Being on mission is important to me, so make it sound like all 500 of your members are actively involved in serving the city, even though you don’t give a single cent to local missions and never talk about it from the pulpit, because you actually hate the city and it’s sinful people. Lastly, spend a lot of time telling me how you are distinctive from other churches, even though you’re not.
There are certainly other ways to keep me from discovering your church, but these have proven quite effective over recent weeks. I assure you, that if you implement these 10 things, you will manage to keep just about everyone from finding or connecting with your church.
Do you know of other ways that churches keep people at bay? Share it in the comments.
Update 03/20/07: See a follow-up response @ “10 Ways to Draw Me to Your Church“.
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36 Responses to “10 Ways to Keep Me from Discovering Your Church”
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Very interesting thoughts. And they ring very true at times. As a Youth Pastor, some of these things sting as our church is right in line with some of what you say. Thanks for the hard look at church’s desires to reach out and connect new people to the body. I am forwarding this to some of our leaders.
My only problem is with #9. Often a question is asked with an “agenda” in mind, and the response will be judged by the use of certain “code words.” If somebody asks me “what does your church think about gays,” for instance, it would take at least 20 minutes to answer, to allow for all the proper nuance. There is no “simple direct” answer to that question. Neither to questions about Bible translations, politics, or our stance on the War in Iraq. Sometimes you do need to take the time to get to know us before you can truly understand why we believe what we believe.
I would challenge the seeker that it takes time to figure out a church, and seeking quick answers to generic questions won’t get you very far.
Joshua,
Great article!
You also have a great name, after the Lord, and also the same name as my nine year-old son who we adopted from Korea.
I’m concluding fifteen years of serving as a pastor and now looking to become a member of a church myself.
I happened to know that I wanted to join the Evangelical Covenant Church and that there was only one in our area. So, that narrowed down my search considerably! We know several families within the church, which was a great help, and when we recently visited during a Sunday off we felt good about this being our new church home come July 1st.
I’ll take your list of comments with me. I would say that the church did well, overall. I don’t believe that email is the pastor’s favorite mode of communication and he could improve in this one area. He is also in his fifties, and this may be partially generational.
I’m quite excited about my new denominational home, The Evangelical Covenant Church, and wanted to suggest that you check out their website, and consider visiting one in your area. While I haven’t yet joined, I’d be happy to try to answer any questions about the denomination that you may have.
May God bless your search for a church home.
In Christ,
Dale
[…] 10 Ways to Keep Me From Discovering Your Church […]
Another turnoff is to tell me that I am in your seat and have to move.
Another is to not have any contact informatino on your signage - no phone number, nothing that one can get to a church member right then.
Thanks for the article. I usually don’t get to read these in detail but today I fell and injured my left arm and shoulder and am sorts’ convelsing.
Ralph.
The Anti-Welcoming Church…
No matter how welcoming churches think they are, they usually aren’t. Why does it have to be so hard to find and connect with a church? I don’t know, but you might want to check out 10 Ways to Keep Me from Discovering Your Church. And then make sure …
I’m new to your blog, but I like this article. It’s sad how so many churches are just dieing to “reach” people and then when new people come in they act like jerks…amazing…sad…typical.
This list may sound non-sensical and/or funny to some but you’d be surprised at how many churches excel at all 10 points. I know I ran into some when I was recently searching for a new church.
You have articulated 10 great ways to keep people away… here’s one, just in case someone actually got in and is participating for a few weeks… discourage them from participating… when they offer to do something, make sure you tell them there is already someone doing that, or just don’t pass on their name to the appropriate person and or ministry… dave pettitt
[…] No matter how welcoming churches think they are, they usually aren’t. Why does it have to be so hard to find and connect with a church? I don’t know, but you might want to check out 10 Ways to Keep Me from Discovering Your Church. And then make sure this list isn’t describing your church. (HT: Church Marketing Sucks) […]
Joshua - Thanks for your excellent post. Thinking about things in the opposite way is helpful and breaks me out of my box. Thanks
Andrew
[…] Church Redone has an interesting list titled 10 Ways to Keep Me From Discovering Your Church. They are: […]
Wow! I step away for a few days and find out the post was picked up by a few blogs. Thank you all for your comments and feedback.
> Eric: Thank you for comment, I welcome the feedback of any of your leaders.
> Dan: I certainly agree with you about #9, if I was asking generic questions outside of doctrine. However, for example, when asked about doctrinal beliefs such as “do you baptize infants” I hope a church leader would be equipped to answer, rather than say “i don’t understand the question” and change the subject. This is of course just one example from one church, I have been met with several evasive responses to inquiries about doctrine.
> Dale: Thank you for the invitation, unfortunately the closest ECC is about 2 hours away.
> Ralph: I haven’t been told I’m in someone’s seat yet, but if it happens I’ll be sure to blog it. Your health is in my prayers.
> Adam: Welcome, I look forward to checking out your blog.
> Chris: Sorry to hear about your difficult church hunt. I haven’t found one with ALL 10 and hope I never do.
> Andrew: Thanks for the encouragement and you are very welcome.
Thanks for the post. It is helpful to know what I can do as a church member to not add to this list.
It was eye opening, again thank you
I had the most horrific experience with a church involving number 9 and 10. Unfortunately the lies didn’t come out in just a couple of weeks. It took months and was very painful. It should go without saying, but apparently it doesn’t: Lying pastors are not a good witness for the church.
Good post. This list is helpful and so much of what you’ve written is “common sense” kind of observations that could help all of us. As a pastor/planter it can be embarrassing when you realize some of the dumb stuff you’ve allowed to happen. That being said, keep in mind there is a general presupposition that the church is to be there for you. It is a subtle thing that is conditioned into most people that grow up in church. Honestly, don’t many of us start with the premise, “I must find a church that is a good fit for me”? What if we asked the question, “God, where do you want be to serve?”
You might be THE guy or gal to help some church with being more welcoming. The thing is if you read a clever blog and then show up and point all the things they are doing wrong, it won ‘t be a good start.
It seems to me (and I am still trying to figure much of this out, too) that the church is to be there for those that don’t know God yet. Even of you aren’t officially affiliated with a particular church, you and most of the contributors on this blog are already part of the church.
So, how are you helping specific churches reach outsiders?
Here’s my challenge: give your life away to helping “the Bride” become more attractive to the lost. You’ll take some hits and be pushed down, but it is worth it.
I think you’re list is true. But you’re not the guy God is wanting to DISCOVER the church. You are the guy God is wanting to BE the church. But in the end, I think you are trying to help churches get discovered by those on the outside, so I do not mean this as criticism.
I am just trying to reconcile that Jesus didn’t seem to excel at this list so maybe I am missing something.
Keep blogging and making a difference!
I have just recently become the elder of evangelism and outreach at my little church, Poolesville Presbyterian. I am in the process of figuring out what can be done/improved within our budget and acquiring the skills I need to fill those needs. Thank you so much for your many candid reflections. It was a nice surprise to see some of my concerns listed among your grievances. It’s reassuring to know I’m not just being picky. It was also wonderful to learn some more things to be watchful for. I’ll be sure to pass this website on to fellow outreach elders in my community. It is important to us that all people feel welcome. Sometimes it’s more a matter of being unaware of bad habits and we just need a wake up call. Thank you for your insight. I hope you find a church home soon. If you find yourself traveling this way, you will always be welcome here.
Carolyn
[…] How welcoming are churches today? Considering the fear of being relevant for some, I would say not too welcoming. Check out “10 Ways to Keep Me from Discovering Your Church” and make sure your church isn’t described in this list. […]
10 Ways to Keep Me from Discovering Your Church…
Via a chain of Decently.org to Church Marketing Sucks I have found a great article at Church Redone: 10 Ways to Keep Me from Discovering Your Church My congregation has issues with #1 (we don’t podcast sermons yet), #5 (we…
[…] From another blog: 10 Ways to Not Be Irresistible. […]
Wow, This article really hits home. It is amazing how many churches don’t have websites or don’t keep them up to date. For as little as $30 a month and help from the youth in the church this can be done. We moved from another state a year ago and the Internet is the first place we wnet to find a new church home. Then it came down to the feeling welcome issue. It is amazing how many churches ignore visitors or even other members.
Ummmm. A very interesting observation. I am presently looking for a new Church home and have actually encountered some of the issues you have written about. However, I’ll keep pressing on because I know I’ll eventually locate a Church full of love and the Word of God. Sad to say, but the walls of the Church sometimes seem “warmer” than the people. I guess i’ll go and give the Church pew a hug. .
[…] I read this post a few days ago and have been inspired to create a similar list about community. […]
[…] Posted by ubergoober on March 21st, 2007 My friend Charlie Gooodson sent me this link yesterday on how to keep people from finding your church. […]
Dave,
Excellent point on the Willing to Serve/Participate. We tend to want to be involved wherever we go. If there’s not a place for us to be involved, then why are we going to bother with your church? I can get involved quite a few places because I sing and am musically inclined. My wife serves in other ways and if there’s not a place for her, then she feels no need to stick around until there might be some day. Nor does she feel a need to join a church in order to be able to do a job. (And frankly, any church that will turn down someone who wants to help has other problems. Sure there may not be an opening in the desired position or you have to be a member to do some jobs, but find/suggest something else if a person really wants to be involved prior to making the commitment of being a member.)
That being said, this list is sadly accurate of a lot of churches I know of and have been in.
-Pete
[…] Via: PC Notas Original:Church Redone (com bons e maus conselhos) […]
[…] Second -10 ways to keep me from discovering your church […]
[…] If you’ll notice my side bar I added am image link to they recently linked to this guy who wrote, “10 Ways to keep me from discovering your church” […]
[…] Joshua writes about 10 Ways to Keep Me From Discovering Your Church. Great post and helps me think about the issue in different ways. I was alerted to this post by Kevin at Church Marketing Sucks […]
[…] Mar 29th, 2007 by cavman Church Redone is looking for a new congregation to worship in. He’s learning all of the wrong things to do so no one can find you. It is pretty insightful, particularly in the fact that churches actually do these things. They actually take courses of action that inhibit healthy growth, keeping people from knowning they exist or how to find them. […]
Ok let me put a different spin on this. Isnt the purpose of a church to serve? Rather then finding what suits you, find a place that really needs your mentality and serve them. I belong to a traditional church and i’m in the process of preaching the same 10 things but from within the walls, not outside. You’ll be shocked to know how many Pastors are wiling to listen and put into action the suggestions of its members.
Re. # 9: I sometimes have a hard time answering the question, “What does your church believe?” because it’s too general. I’ve also had people say things like “What kind of church is your church?” or “Well, how is your church different from all other churches?”
I usually try to get more information from the people before I give an answer. For instance, when they say “What kind of church is your church?” I have no idea what they mean. Do they mean what denomination?
I hate identifying our church by denomination, largely because people tend to pigeonhold and stereotype. If I say “Reformed,” some of them will say to themselves “Oh, yeah. That Calvinist stuff. Not interested.” Others will say, “Oh, good. I grew up Reformed,” and then they’re shocked when we aren’t like their childhood church.
But often it seems as if the denomination is all people want to know. They don’t want the conversation about what you really believe. They just want a category into which to fit you.
Again, that’s why I try to draw them out more. I hope I don’t sound mealy-mouthed (”Um … what do we believe? Well, um, ah, the Bible and, um, Jesus….”).
Sometimes, too, I’ll mention some of the things that may distinguish us from the churches that the questioner is used to. But that’s tricky because our distinctives AREN’T the most important thing about us. What we have in common with other churches (e.g., belief in the Trinity) is far more significant and foundational than that we baptize infants and have liturgical worship. So I’m always reluctant to define the church by how we differ from other churches (and there’s no way that we differ from ALL other churches or we’d be a cult!).
So I appreciate your # 9 and it challenges me to answer questions directly. But at the same time, I’m not always sure what to say to avoid the pitfalls I’ve outlined above.
[…] * 10 Ways to Keep Me From Discovering Your Church. […]
Great list. The website point is increasingly essential, and at Internet Evangelism Day, we have developed a self-assessment tool to help churches create sites that can relate to outsiders:
http://ied.gospelcom.net/church-site-desigh.php
Your point about not answering the phone also extends to not answering emails - a depressing number of churches seem incapable of doing this!
Bless you
Tony
Great article. I especially dislike not having the phone answered at church..and people do read the newspapers..I would like our church to advertise more. Do we have a “religious editor” in Vancouver for the Columbian? An interview with the local pastors would be great. Better signage is important. People do read reader boards. Thanks.
Good post Joshua. I’m new to your site. My girlfriend and I recently chose a church home. I can relate man! Btw check out my blog. Let me know what you think.