Doing what is right - Intro
Two years ago I was faced with a situation where a teenage friend realized he was being groomed for sexual exploitation by an adult. For those of you not familiar with “grooming” in this context, it’s a process by which a predator gives affection and builds trust with a child (or parent) in order to increase access and decrease discovery. The teen looked to me for counsel and I took the burden of responsibility to do what was right. However, it was a very complex scenario that involved internet chats, an international component, the state department, foriegn law enforcement and a predator who was a youth minister, that had acted inappropriately with sleeping children under his care. Plus it honestly didn’t help my stress level that I considered this guy a friend.
During this period, James 4:17 was my mantra. “Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.” Even with something as clear cut as this scenario (the guy confessed to me), there were many times I just wanted to walk away. But every phone call or conversation, revealed a deeper threat. First we thought this was a first and limited to inapproapriate online chat. Then the realization of past behavior. So I alerted his church and local police authorities. The end, right? Then the revelation he was trying to immigrate to the US to work in a church setting. That’s when the state department and a foreign lord high police something or other got involved. This was a month-long process and at every juncture roadblocks where put up in my path to prevent me from reaching empowered people who could act.
In the end he was removed from his role with children in the local church, but there was insufficient evidence to charge him, as there were no witnesses to his past behavior, and he was allowed entrance to the US where I think he now works in some sort of media ministry. It’s a hard reality to accept that we can do what is right and good and yet things still turn out so wrong. I still wonder sometimes if I did all that I could. My only hope is that he has experienced true confession and repentance.
I share this story because over the last few weeks I’ve been thinking about James 4:17. The situation I shared was an extreme example that left little room for doubt about what action needed to be taken. But what about when the dilemma is a friend who’s just being an idiot and ruining his life? Or a parent who is running head-first into hell? Or a boss who’s great in business, but disrespects his wife and kids at company functions? What if the situation is your life and you just wish someone had the guts and love to tell you that you’re screwing up? Doesn’t anyone notice? You try and stop a child molestor and people applaud you. Try and stop a friend or co-worker from ruining their life or someone else’s and you’re a pompous meddling jerk.
Plus we have that whole speck/plank thing. What right do I have to tell a friend that his language is disrespectful and tears down, when I have a reputation for being snappy with retail employees that answer yes/no questions with expository monologues? Why should you listen to a friend revelling in sexual sin who thinks you drink too much? Who does that neighbor think she is spouting the virtues of Christ when her teenage daughter has the reputation of an unrepentant Mary Magdalene?
We cannot let imperfection be the stumbling block that keeps us from doing what is right and reaching out to the people around us. There are all kinds of tricky and messy situations in life and our culture has unfortunately decided to take a live and let live, or rather a sin and let sin attitude. In following posts I’ll take a deep look at the struggles of doing what is right and share scripture and methods that have helped me.
[note: The nature of the opening story that I mentioned was a huge over-simplification. I simply ask that you not let your mind wander to what you think should or could have been done, or why this or that. There were so many more factors and so much more done, than I care to share or ethically would. ]
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